


Deadhead

by Wellmore



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Binge Drinking, Broken Promises, Bromance, Bromance to Romance, Burn Victim Wade Wilson, Burns, Cheating, Comedy, Consensual Infidelity, Crossdressing Kink, Deadpool Thought Boxes, Deadpool being Deadpool, Deadpool's a DAD!!!, Double Dating, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, Drinking Songs, Drinking to Cope, Drunk Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Drunk Texting, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunken Kissing, Epic Bromance, Eventual Happy Ending, F/F, Falling In Love, Fatherhood, Female Homosexuality, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Panic, Gay Sex, Happy, Happy Ending, Happy Sex, Heavy Drinking, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Internal Conflict, Internalized Homophobia, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Love, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Mild Kink, My First Smut, No Lesbians Die, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Praise Kink, Public Sex, Romantic Comedy, Rough Sex, Sad, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sex Toys, Sexy Times, Shameless Smut, Shower Sex, Size Kink, Slow Burn, Smut, Step-parents, Strength, Strength Kink, Tags May Change, Unrequited Love, Vaginal Sex, You Know Deadpool LOL
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-06-06 13:36:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15195890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wellmore/pseuds/Wellmore
Summary: Wade Wilson and Piotr Rasputin are drinking buddies with to many problems to count. Piotr found out his wife of 5 years, Kitty,  has fallen in love with a woman, Rogue, and wants to leave him for her. For wade, in between having the majority of his body being burned, having his daughter taken away, and being out a job the guy just can't catch a break.One night the two have hot drunken sex and find that it's a great way to deal with life's pain.





	1. Chapter 1

“This can’t be happening?” Piotr said.

“Oh, it happened.” Wade barred his face into the bigger man’s neck, “You can check my bug hole if you don’t believe.”

Piotr pushed the burned naked man aside as he rose from the bed, “can’t you take anything seriously?”

“No, haven’t you seen my movies? P.S. for all you guys reading out there I highly recommend going seeing Deadpool 2. I won’t give anything away but let’s just say there are some big shippable moments-”

“Wade!” Piotr Barked, “I don’t think you get how serious this! Kitty and I were just getting things back on track and then this happens!”

“Look Colossus I really don’t want to get your goat. But when a woman says I’m a les and wants to start scissoring her BFF I think that a good sign she doesn’t want you anymore.” 

“Kitty says she still loves me and that she was wanting to change. We’re giving it a second chance.”

“Aren’t you going to ask where I came up with that name? I’ve been dying for you to ask!”

“Wade! I’m getting tiered of this!”

“I’m calling you Colossus because of your big dong! Plus, it’s you name in the cannon.”

Piotr was sick of his smart mouth. As he through on whatever set of clothing he had left

 

Sorry this chapter’s so short I know it’s early on but I need some help. I really want to get a beta as soon as I can. I have so much going on in my life it’s hard for me to find time to edit. I am working on this fic as well as an original story called The People from Beyond which is a science fiction comedy. I need help editing both fics so if anyone is interested in helping me with both I’d be extremely grateful.


	2. Love Fades

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I couldn't resist posting before it was beta read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to bother all of you with this again but I am really trying to find a beta for my story The People from Beyond. 
> 
> My story is about Richard Barnes a 44 year old man trying his best to raise his daughters, 25 year old Audrey and 14 year old Kricket now that his wife is no longer with him and for reasons beyond his control he moves back to the house he grew up in. He plans to fix up his old house and make a new life for himself and his daughters. Than aliens show up in the form of humans and they take over his life. They wont tell him why they are here or why they want to live with him and his family all they will say is they can't go back. So now the Aliens have completely taken over his life. The entire story is a comedy/scifi/drama revolving around the Barnes family and these aliens. There are LGBT themes in it and a lot of character development. Also there are themes of overcoming sexual assault, living with dementia, how far science should go and much more. It does have some girls love scenes.
> 
> If anyone is interested the story is up and you can read it before

Piotr's throat was closing more and more with every step he took on his way to the door. How could he tell the woman he loved, the woman he was begging not to leave him that he had sex with his friend. 

 

God, he never felt this low.

 

While opening the door to his small Manhattan apartment, a wave of regret instantly hit him.

 

There she was. 

 

Kitty.

 

Looking as beautiful as ever in her warm pink sweater and blue jeans warm and cozy lounging around the couch. He couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the vision of his lovely wife. “Hello honey.”  
Kitty looked up at the towering man with a soft smile which quickly changed into a look of confusion, “Hello. Hey what happened to you ?”  
Looking at his lower body he made the horrific discovery. His clothes where torn apart, leaving a huge amount of exposed skin, covered with hickies that started at his neck and sloppily lead down to his-

 

Oh, god… Why did this have to happen.  
So focused on his horrid appearance he failed to realize that his wife had been approaching.  
“Piotr, is everything ok?” As Kitty softly put her hands on his checks, all Piotr wanted to do was lying. Tell his wife he had been in a fight or mugged.

 

No…

 

She deserved better than that. “Kitty… Please have a seat with me. I need to tell you something…”

 

“Alright,” the two sat closely. Gently holding her hands in his, “You know I love you, right?”

 

A sorrowful expression grew on the brunette's face, “Ya- yah, I know…” 

 

“You remember Wade?”

 

“Your friend? Yes.”

 

Piotr's breathing stood still as he fought to get the words out 

 

“Wade and I… we… we did something… something very bad…”

 

“Piotr you're scaring me…”

 

God Piotr how old are you, just say it…

 

“Wade and I had sex.”

 

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth hung open in shock.

 

“Kitty, it was a one time thing. We were drunk. I will regret this for the rest of my-”

 

She didn't give him a moment to respond as she grabbed his shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace.

 

“This is wonderful! Absolutly amazing!” She cheered with a wide smile on her face.

 

Piotr raised an eyebrow. He didn't understand what Kitty was up to. 

 

“Piotr, I’m so happy you found someone! The way you reacted when I told you about Rogue... It just didn’t feel right leaving you... but this changes everything! Now we can both be with the people we want.”

 

Piotr shot up in horror, “I don’t want Wade! I want you! How could you even think anything else?! I’m not even gay!” 

 

“This isn’t about being straight or gay. This is about love, and I love Rogue.”

 

“Kitty, please. We can go to counseling. We will make this work. Please, give us one last chance.”

 

“No, we won't make this work.... i don't even want this to work anymore… Piotr, I’ve been unhappy since we've got married.”All the blood drained from both their faces. Kitty turned away not wanting to face the   
man whose heart she had just broken. 

 

Stumbling backwards the towering man left his apartment. He needed to escape from this place, from Kitty.

 

Piotr had been walking for hours mentally reliving their entire marriage over and over again. He could remember her smiling at their wedding. Making love with her on honeymoon. Kissing passionately every day... Has all of this been nothing but a stupid and naive product of his imagination?

 

Piotr's train of thoughts rapidly ended as he heard footsteps from behind. In the next moment he felt someone hugging him, “Hey, Colossus.”

 

“God definitly has a crush on him these days and i'm absolutly not okay with that…” Piotr thought

 

“Wade I’m not in the mood.”

 

“That's nothing like what you said last night.”

 

“WADE YOU BETTER SHUT UP!!!” Piotr snapped as he turned around nearly knocking the burned man aside. 

 

“Woah, easy baby we need to establish some safe words if you're gonna treat me like this.” 

 

“I am not in the mood, Wade.”

 

“Why, what’s up? Did your favorite cereals were out of stock or...?”

 

“Kitty decided that we need to get divorced. So, please Wade I don’t want to hear any of your mo-”

 

Wade interrupted with a warm embrace that nearly brought a tear to Piotr’s eye. This little yet so meaningfull action moved him so much he couldn’t help but embrace him in return. “I’m here for you big guy… and I always will be. So, how about we get so smashed that we can blame our soon to be hookup on the alcohol.”

 

“Wade we’re not going to hook up.” 

 

“You have no idea how hard Wellmore is shiping us. The only serious question is who's going down on who in the next chapter”

 

“We are not hooking up, Wade.” Piotr retreated.

 

“So, you're rejecting my offer for a drink then?” Piotr felt a tight knot forming in his stomach thinking about it for a few seconds, “Well, I didn’t say that though. Just one drink and NOTHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN. You understand me?”

 

Wade burst out laughing as they were heading into Domino’s bar.

 

“Keep telling yourself that. It's a good segway into the next chapter.”


	3. I'M BACK!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long hiatus. My friend has been through the ring with this move it was completely out of no were and she had no were to go. She is all settled now and I AM BACK TO WRITING!!! I'm this a little taste of what I'm working on sorry it so short but it's 12 am were I am and I've been on the go all day so forgive the spelling and grammatically errors I will delete it after I've finished the chapter and it's beta read. Feels so good to be back:).

“God, I have to stop drinking” Piotr huffs on the brink of his orgasm.

Wade pops his head out from under the covers wiping away the pre-cum dripping from his cheek. “Wow, you sure now how to charm a girl who just went down on ya,”

“It not because don’t want to.” Piotr protests, “It’s just that… Everything with Kitty… I feel like this is the last thing I should be doing.”

Wade grinds as he grabs the larger man’s cock and wrapped stocks him off. “So, you do want to do me!”

“Wade!” Piotr moans, “Your missing th- AHH!” Piotr cums all over Wades chest, “Point.”

“Haha,” Wade laugh, “Sex with you is fun.”

“WADE BE SERIOUS!!!” He shouted, “My marriage is ending. I should be getting use to being alone not jumping back into a relationship-”

Eye budging out of his head Wade jumped back, “Who said anything about a relationship?!”

“Well, I just thought you and I know each other for so long and we-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there before you plan our wedding and the little ankle biters. This is just bumping nasties to get our mind of things, NOTHING else.”

Piotr was a little confused, “That doesn’t sound healthy. Using sex wont fix my problems.”

“Sure it will. Sex is like a magical drug that wont make all your teeth fall out and age you 40 years. I makes life worth living and makes prostitutes moan. Say it with me Piotr god bless our rock hard erections!”

Piotr slapped his hand over his forehead as the realization that he just had sex with a man with less maturity then a 12 year old.

 

After regrettably a 3rd round of sex Piotr and Wade parted ways for the day. Piotr tried to leave with a simple hand shake but wade made it a point to give his as a nice firm squeeze and said, “See you buns of steel.”

He laughed seeing the twinge of embarcment on the giant’s face as he walked away. Wade gave an overly hipper wave waiting until the other man was completely out of site before sprinting in the the other direction.


End file.
